Things My Granfather taught as a teen-ager, by Ryan Fisher

• When you quit drinking, you lose all of your friends.
• There is nothing like a cigarette when you have a good buzz.
• Always check the fluids in your vehicles.
• Dont drink your grandpa’s beer, get your own beer.
• Spit out your gum, no gum god dam it.
• Don’t leave crumbs in the toilet
• Don’t use too much toilet paper
• Clean up all of your hairs from the bathroom, god damn it.
• Burger King will kill you.