Given that three fifths of Tangleweed are current or former hockey players (Billy, Kip, and Scott), we thought you would enjoy this collision of music and hockey in the form of correspondence with the band Five for Fighting.

It comes from my friend Carl ‘R’ Knorr, who heard the extraordinarily whimpy song ‘Superman’ played at a Cleveland Lumberjacks hockey game. He was astonished to learn that the perpetrators of this apalling work of musical wussery were a band named for the most beloved penalty in hockey: Five for Fighting. Carl, fine American that he is, fired off an email to the band demanding to an explanation. But then something happened that he really didn’t expect. They wrote him back.

Carl ‘R’ Knorr’s letter to Five for Fighting:

I was at a hockey game last night, when during the second intermission I heard this song. I swear to Gordie, the lyrics I and the rest of my crew heard were “I’m more than a man / I go down on sheep /Looking for sexy things in sodomy.” We all looked at
each other and said “Who in hell would sing about that?” then laughed about it throughout the rest of the game and the drive home.

Granted, my crew is mostly oldish metal/punkers and the young one in our crew mostly listens to our music, so we really aren’t up to speed on what plays on the Clear Channel Top 40 stations. I took it upon myself to research the lyrics I heard, hoping to find out just what the hell that warbling dude was saying.

Turns out that track was your “Superman (It’s Not Easy)”. I read the real lyrics… mine are better. Boy, does that song suck!

Now, I know that that is only one song. I also know that kind of song is de rigeur for major-label acts - you can’t make heavy rotation unless you can make the girlies sigh. “Superman” is such a song - “oh, I’m so powerful, but so misundersttod… please help my pain inside… can I have a hug and some chamomile tea?” - and it’s exactly the kind of song that’ll have you rolling sack-deep in teenie tail if you can sell the sentiment.

However, as a fellow hockey fan, please tell me the rest of your stuff is actually manly and/or fun. The idea of a group naming itself after the most popular penalty call in hockey putting out a huge pile of so-sensitive mama’s-boy lyrical buttmeal makes my
spine rattle! In the name of Guy Le Fleur, tell me the rest of your tracks rock the paint off the walls, and “Superman” is just your
shut-the-suits-up-while-scoring-some-strange radio-play track.

Oh, and work on the enunciation a bit, Mr. Singer Guy.

Sincerely,

Carl Knorr
Some Guy In Akron, Ohio

PS - Regardless of the answers to my questions, take heart that you could never suck even half as much as Good Charlotte.

Their response:

Carl, Thank you for the kind words of advice…I’ll take them to heart…I would suggest you pick up a few fff records to see if Superman is an aberration or just a reflection of trivial tripe that is digesting the music business…as an indeed fellow hockey fan
(read my bullshit at insidehockey.com…scroll down)…perhaps writing such sentiments that are ripe for abuse takes more nads than a glove drop with Dave Semenko.

As much as I can appreciate the “horror” of such songs for us Who fans, I also see how they make a non-trivial difference in peoples lives…(sadly not the teenie tails)…You might also pick up the Concert from NY…

Alas, i enjoyed your note and i have 2 questions…

Where does one see a hockey game these days?

is the sheep thing just a Freudian slip or does it come from experience?

Best

J.